When I can not sleep!

There are nights where my head is spinning at a million miles per hour and no I am not talking about the days when I was lit up on alcohol, I am referring to the time when the worries of life take hold of me. Being a man of new found faith, I still struggle with the notion of me letting go and letting God. I can tell you that there are nights I may only sleep for a total of 45 minutes. I really wish sometimes I could have that amazing calm sleep that my kids have. Kids are so amazing, so innocent, so care free, my God to have the mind and attitude of a child, what went wrong. I was reading my bible and Jesus said in Matthew 18:1-5 HCSB At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, "Who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"Then He called a child to Him and had him stand among them. "I assure you," He said, "unless you are converted and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child-this one is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one child like this in My name welcomes Me. I so long to have the faithful mindset of Christ. Knowing that God will always sustain me. I wish I didn't struggle like I do. That's what is so great about children , the may have moments of struggles or doubt but they know how to move on and forget, it doesn't consume them.

As I do this blog entry I can honestly say there is a change happening in me. Over the Past week I have slept good not like a baby but we are getting there. I am turning my fears and doubts over to God and it is working. Don't get me wrong I still have had my moments but it is different. I also find myself just reminding God that I am still with him and hope he knows I expect him to be with me. Soon I think I will be at total peace with my fleshly life and have that ever burning fire of God consuming me through and through. Then maybe just then I will move away from the negative reality of this world and find the truth of the harmony of the spirit. I found a Psalm that I think I am going to read every night before I go to bed. Its Psalm 63 its word really hit me in my spirit a I feel the layers of my fleshly fear and doubt be pealed away as I take it in. Here it is.


Psalm 63
Praise God Who Satisfies
A Davidic psalm. When he was in the Wilderness of Judah.

1 God, You are my God; I eagerly seek You.
I thirst for You;
my body faints for You
in a land that is dry, desolate, and without water.

2 So I gaze on You in the sanctuary
to see Your strength and Your glory.

3 My lips will glorify You
because Your faithful love is better than life.
4 So I will praise You as long as I live;
at Your name, I will lift up my hands.

5 You satisfy me as with rich food;
my mouth will praise You with joyful lips.

6 When I think of You [as I lie] on my bed,
I meditate on You during the night watches
7 because You are my helper;
I will rejoice in the shadow of Your wings.

8 I follow close to You;
Your right hand holds on to me.

9 But those who seek to destroy my life
will go into the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the power of the sword;
they will become the jackals' prey.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by Him will boast,
for the mouths of liars will be shut;